• 5 ani de Matri • How to kill your Marriage [video]
• Demisexuality
• Despre Supunerea Femeii [v]
• He's Not The One [v]
• Your Brain on Porn
• Avoidant Attachment
• Covert Narcissist
• Mental /Emotional Abuse
• 5 Love Languages
• True Friends
• How to Not Die Alone
• Living Apart Together
PS1: In urma reclamat!!lor /injuraturilor primite de'a lungul timpului, un sfat prietenesc pt cei care lesina /intra in coma cand vad o descriere mai lunga de 15-cuvinte: iubire, daca neuronul tau nu duce mai mult decat «cea mai buna nevasta e o femeie bleaga si muta», te poti opri aici din citit, n-as vrea sa te accidentezi si mai mult. N-am eu absolut nici o vina pt limitarile /dereglarile tale, si nici nu te obliga nimeni sa pierzi timpul pe tarlaua mea. E plina balta de peste, ai de unde alege o gaura fix pe masura ta. Bye.
PS2: Randurile de mai jos sunt 1.000% dedicate femeilor naive, asa cum am fost si eu cand
mi-am creat contul Matri, ca sa inteleaga din start ca aici e #jungla, si sa-si ia masuri de autoprotectie.
PS3: Daca esti insurat,
ma interesezi fix cat ma intereseaza un gandac aflat inafara spatiului meu personal.
___________________________
___________________________
«Do No Harm; Take No Shit.»
•
Simplitate. Pragmatism.
Rationala, Realista.
Introspectie. Maturitate.
Umor negru, sare si piper.
Feminista, atee, vaccinata.
Directa in Comunicare.
Responsabila in Actiuni.
Asumata in Decizii.
Nurturer. True Friend.
5 Love Languages.
Loialitate, Dedicare.
Proactive, Teamwork.
Win-Win, Sinergie.
Dezvoltare Personala.
City wandering. Events.
[Foto Profil: Sept. 2020]
Zero interes pt casual sex.
Zero interes pt recasatorie.
•
[April 2024]
5 ani de Matri.
99% penisuri indobitocite de P°rnhub, insurati, analfabeti, escroci, dereglati mintal.
Poze furate de pe internet,
varsta cu 10-15 ani sub buletin,
verigheta ascunsa bine.
Mimand virgin/retard interesul pt o Relatie, taurii comunali [#statistic asezonati cu sifilis] cauta perpetuu o noua naiva gaura colectoare de sperma,
abureli-abureli-fuck-eject-next,
iritati ca "expiratele astea de 40+ ani" nu au chef sa-si desfaca picioarele pt ei, ca sa fie si ele iluminate de asa un
Maestru-open-mind.
E super-simpatica ipocrizia voastra, stiind foarte clar si noi si voi, ca daca vi s-ar face voua ce fac "barbatii" "open-mind" corpurilor de femei pe P°rnHub, ati lesina plangand "piei Satana.. piei Satana..".
Plus: va traiti viata dupa filosofia asta «nu cumpar
toata vaca pt 1 litru de lapte».
Perfect de acord cu voi, doar ca eu nu vand lapte-la-litru.
Incercati la taraba urmatoare.
Molustele-parazit [slugarite
toata viata de mamicutele lor]
delireaza anti-feminism, stupefiati ca nu se ofera nici o alta posesoare de vagin sa preia stafeta de sluga supusa,
asistenta-de-parazit - menajera - bucatareasa - sex-worker in continuarea celor 9 ore de munca la patron +2 in trafic.
Ca, citez, "asa a fost oranduit de Dzeu, si daca nu cred, pot vedea clar pe Animal Planet ca femela se supune masculului", deci trebuie sa accept obedient Dreptul Divin al Penisului de a zace cu bericica in mana pe interneti, si sa fie servit
sarmale si cozonaci.
Si tinut in puf sa nu faca riduri, si sters la fund, ca e prea mare efortul pt el si-l epuizeaza,
nu mai are energie sa duca alcoolul la gura.
Da. Asteptati, acu vin.
Grizonati** care cauta si ei o
vita-de-prasila multifunctionala,
revoltati ca junica selectata
de ei pt procreere refuza
sa aiba statut de vita
cumparata in targ.
Profesor de muzica pop.ulara [50 ani/Iasi] care "doreste sa ofere experiente placute fetitelor de 14 ani".
Are conturi multiple.
Pe unul afiseaza Decenta si cauta Relatie, pe celalalt bifeaza casatorit.
Le sterge des. Gliseaza [chiar si de pe acelasi cont] pe varsta 35/25, uneori si alt oras.
Excremente care ne saluta cu un viol-virtual-explicit in primul mesaj privat trimis.
Si nu in ultimul rand, inca un exemplar din bogata fauna a barbatilor-traditionali, care imi transmite un calduros «iti rup picioarele si-ti sparg fata daca te vad prin oras», pt ca am avut "nesimtirea" sa-i raspund un «imi pare rau, nu ne potrivim» dupa un scan de profil.
» Pt restul de 1%: sper ca acum
e mai clar de ce majoritatea
femeilor ramase/active pe site
au tarife cu ora, iar restul nu mai citesc/raspund la profiluri anonime/incompatibile.
PS: La un raport de 10+ conturi de barbati la 1 femeie nec.urva, cele mai eficiente Filtre pt escroci si insurati care ascund faptul ca exista o nevasta:
• block automat pt non-IASI/#, pt lipsa identitate vizuala, pt descrieri 15-cuvinte, pt orice are vibe de fake.
• interogare intensiva «scopul si durata vizitei» pt tot ce trece de prima sita. Dupa cateva zile incep sa se balbaie retard.
• daca vreti sa rezistati mai mult de 1 luna aici pe site, fixati CLAR criteriile *minime* de Compatibilitate-de-Profil si blocati FARA sa cititi mesajele primite de pe restul conturilor.
•
Mizeria, dereglarea,
agresivitatea is infinite.
M-a socat sa citesc ca inclusiv Doamnele de 70 de ani traiesc pe Matri fix aceeasi experienta infecta pe care am trait-o eu la 40-45 ani. Mintea mea nu poate procesa rational halul asta de degradare a naturii umane.
In fine, asta e, ne adaptam:
te disociezi public de hazna,
sau nu existi.
Crezi ca daca ai dat 2 click-uri sa-ti faci un cont si ai bifat ca ai un penis, gata, iti pica Femeia drept in obiectul muncii?
Descriere complexa,
autentica, introspectiva.
Selectie Foto|Video.
Ti-e lene sa gandesti si sa muncesti pt o Relatie? Next!
Va e lene tuturor,
de la primul pana la ultimul?
Absolut nici o problema.
#Netflix♥️ pana la #cimitir.
•
Status: Sila viscerala.
Profil indisponibil pt dating.
Ramane vizibil doar ca feedback din tabara posesoarelor de vagin.
Si inainte sa va mai isterizati, recomand sa va educati putin despre Demisexualitate*, asa cum si eu m-am educat despre «The Coolidge Effect is a biological phenomenon seen in animals, whereby males exhibit renewed sexual interest whenever a new female is introduced, even after sex with prior but still available
sexual partners.»
Sincere Condoleante.
PS1: Si zici ca's aroganta? Comparativ cu ce? Cu un manip.ulator frustrat ca nu-i mai ies schemele? Cu o mamaliga pres-de-picioare?
Multumesc. O iau ca pe un compliment.
PS2: Bipede care cred ca
lesinam orgasmic cand
le citim descrierea
compusa de ChatGPT.
Gizas Christ!!!!!!
))))))))
#
*@ro.wikipedia: «Demisexualitatea este o orientare sexuală în care persoana nu simte atracție sexuală până la formarea unei legături emoționale.
Este mai des întâlnită în relațiile romantice, dar nu se limitează doar la acestea. Demisexualitatea nu se referă la comportamentul sexual al unei persoane, nici la dorința acesteia de a face sex.
Unele persoane demisexuale întrețin relații sexuale fără a avea o legătură emoțională, la fel ca oricare altă persoană de altă orientare.
Demisexualii nu aleg să se abțină de la actul sexual în sine; pur și simplu le lipsește atracția sexuală până la formarea unei relații intime. De aceea, celibatul nu trebuie confundat cu demisexualitatea.
Deși factori ca aspectul sau personalitatea nu afectează atracția sexuală primară în cazul demisexualilor [de vreme ce aceștia nu percep atracția sexuală primară], astfel de factori pot afecta atracția romantică, ca și în orice altă orientare. Spre deosebire de asexuali, demisexualii trăiesc atracția secundară, ca rezultat al unei legături puternice cu partenerul. Când un demisexual este conectat emoțional cu cineva [indiferent dacă sentimentele sunt de dragoste romantică sau prietenie profundă], acesta experimentează atracția și dorința sexuală, dar numai față de partenerul său. Pentru un demisexual, formarea unei relații amoroase este un proces dificil, plin de confuzii și uneori exasperant, deoarece poate trece drept prietenie inițial, transformându-se ulterior într-o atracție sexuală puternică.»
**FYI: A 2019 study determined that a father's age has a significant impact on a child's health and development.
The study found that babies born to older fathers had an increased risk of cleft lip or palate, heart defects, autism, schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. Additional research suggests that advanced paternal age is moderately associated with the most common form of childhood leukemia and linked to a slightly elevated risk of pediatric non-Hodgkin lymphoma.
In 2018, researchers at Stanford University found that babies born to fathers ages 45 or older were 18% more likely to have seizures and 14% more likely to be born premature compared with babies born to fathers ages 25 to 34.
___________________________
___________________________
«If you gotta tell him to help carry the bricks, he's not the one to build with.»
•
Love is a verb. It’s an action requiring your involvement and your active participation.
You cannot sit back and expect the world will serve it to you.
You cannot expect that your relationship will continue to provide love while you’re not putting in any effort.
Love has to be earned and must be continually fought for.
— Stephen Covey
•
Love someone who is honest. Honest with you, with others, and with themselves. You cannot love someone you do not trust. Find someone who willingly shares responsibility. You will be a team in every single sense. Find someone you cherish togetherness with. Someone who understands the importance of alone time. Someone who values your opinion. Someone with a willingness to learn. A person with an open mind. Find someone who makes it easy to feel grateful. For everything. Wit is important. Life is too short not to love someone who loves to laugh. Make sure they are somebody who lets you cry, too. Despair will come. Find someone that you want to be there with you through those times.
— Unknown author
•
People think they’re competing with other suitors when dating me, but really I’m comparing you to my own solitude. That’s the competition. Is your company better than being alone? Am I growing around you like I do when I'm alone? Do I feel safe? Is there joy???
Is there peace??
— @thekayanova
•
[Book] 5 Love Languages:
1. Words of Affirmation.
This is about expressing affection through spoken words, praise, or appreciation. When this is someone's primary love language, they enjoy kind words and encouragement, uplifting quotes, love notes, and cute text messages. You can make this person's day by complimenting them or pointing out what they do well.
2. Quality Time.
Someone with this love language values your full presence when you are together. They feel most loved if you give them your undivided attention and spend time together in meaningful and interactive ways. This means putting down the cell phone, turning off the computer, making eye contact, thoughtfully interacting, and actively listening.
People with this love language are looking for quality over quantity.
3. Physical Touch.
A person with physical touch as their primary love language feels love through physical affection. Aside from sex, they feel loved when their partner holds their hand, touches their arm, or gives them a massage at the end of the day, for example.
This person's idea of a wonderful date night might be cuddling on the couch while watching a movie, slow dancing together with a lot of physical contact, or taking a long walk together while holding hands. They feel most loved when physically interacting with their partner.
4. Acts of Service.
Acts of service are nice things you do for your partner that make them feel loved and appreciated, such as: helping with the dishes, running errands, vacuuming, putting gas in the car.
If your partner's main love language is acts of service, they'll notice and appreciate little things you do for them. They tend to perform acts of service and kindness for others, too.
5. Receiving Gifts.
For someone who resonates with this love language, gifts symbolize love, care, and affection. They treasure not only the gift itself but also the time and effort the gift-giver put into selecting it.
People who enjoy receiving gifts as part of their primary love language do not necessarily expect large or expensive presents; it's more the effort and thoughtfulness behind the gift that count.
When you take the time to pick out a gift specifically for them, it tells them you are thoughtful and really know and care about them and their preferences. People with this love language can often remember every little gift they have received from their loved ones because it makes such an impact on them.
@verywellmind.com/
can-the-five-love-languages-
help-your-relationship-4783538
•
#BEFORE YOU GET MARRIED* discuss bills, parenting styles, credit, debt, religion, how to deal with family, what beliefs will be instilled in your children, childhood traumas,
sexual expectations,
partner expectations,
financial expectations,
family health history,
mental health history,
bucket list, dream home, careers and education,
political views and
whatever else comes to mind.
LOVE ALONE IS NOT ENOUGH!
— Unknown author
•
Benefits of having
True Friends:
» Support.
Having true friends can mean having an effective support system. True friends generally stick around during difficult times.
» Improved quality of life.
Life without friends can be dull and lonely. It may even contribute to depression and other mental health issues. Knowing you have true friends can improve your quality of life by adding moments of happiness, connection, and understanding.
» Promoting self-confidence.
True friends are often there to motivate and encourage you. They may remind you of your positive qualities and all you have to offer when you’re feeling down. When the journey seems challenging, one of the qualities of a good friend may be that they stay by your side and help you overcome any challenge you experience.
» Honesty.
A real friend can be honest with you, even when what they have to say may be hard for you to hear. For example, a true friend may let you know if they notice that your partner seems to be treating you poorly or if your new job seems to be bringing you down. This authenticity and honesty can contribute to a realistic perspective of life.
» Unconditional love.
What is true friendship? True friendship may be defined as mutual unconditional love. This can be a different type of love than you might receive from your family or your partner. Real friends may show unconditional love and expect nothing in return. They may not judge you or think less of you. They will likely always have your back and support you through thick and thin.
» Mental progress.
Real friends can help you focus on your goals, stay motivated, and be creative. Having true friends may help you stay on track and make wise decisions. Real friends generally shouldn't influence you negatively; instead, they might encourage you to do better and help you make decisions that will lead you in the right direction.
Fostering healthy friendships can require effort, dedication, and commitment. It’s often essential to be honest and willing to spend time with your friends. You should also be patient and understanding of each other's circumstances. Additionally, it’s usually best to respect one another's opinions and not be judgmental of their choices. Trust can be another important component of friendship.
@betterhelp.com/
advice/general
/what-is-the-real-definition
-of-a-true-friend/
•
Book: How to Not Die Alone
— by Logan Ury
Chapter 7: Look for a Life Partner, Not a Prom Date
We tend to fall victim to the present bias which means we give high value to the here and now and low value to the f.uture. Pursuing someone to enjoy the present moment rather than seeing that person as a serious candidate as a long-time partner is called the prom date. But this isn’t what we need, we need a life partner, someone to rely on and make decisions with.
The focusing illusion is our bias toward overestimating something’s importance. In other words, thinking about something makes it seem more important than what it actually is. Some of the things we tend to overestimate include:
1. Money: past a certain point, money doesn’t make an impact on a couple’s happiness.
2. Good looks: the initial pleasure of being with someone handsome wears out.
3. A personality similar to yours: having similar personalities doesn’t predict a relationship’s success.
4. Shared hobbies: you can have any hobby you like as long as it doesn’t prevent you from investing time and effort into the relationship.
This is what matters the most in a relationship:
1. Emotional stability and kindness: this is not giving in to impulses or anger.
2. Loyalty: find someone who’s going to be there for you no matter what.
3. A growth mindset: this includes people who want to improve their intelligence and skills.
4. A personality that brings out the best in you: does being around that person make you confident or insecure? Competent or incapable?
5. Skills to fight well: all couples fight but use fights to deal with things rather than letting resentment grow. There are two types of relationship problems: solvable and perpetual. Most problems and conflicts are perpetual. The idea isn’t to fight, but to fight well and that a fight won’t mean the end of the relationship. Fighting well means cultivating the ability to recover from disagreements.
6. The ability to make hard decisions with you: this shows compatibility and strengthens your relationship.
•
The Book in Three Sentences:
In this summary of How to Not Die Alone, you’ll learn that great relationships are the result of a series of good decisions and not something that happens by itself. By using principles from behavioral science, Logan Ury teaches you to break bad patterns, identify what matters in an ideal partner, and meet people in real life. How to Not Die Alone is all about finding, building, and keeping, the relationship you want.
Restul: @ericsandroni.com
/book-summary
-how-to-not-die-alone
-by-logan-ury/
•
2 Reasons Why
Living-Apart-Together Marriages
Are On The Rise,
According To A Psychologist.
#1. Are you great partners, but terrible roommates?
Moving in with your partner comes with substantial changes in relationship dynamics. Many people come to therapy shortly after moving in with a partner with questions on how to manage conflicts that have to do with household tasks, expenses, and a lack of privacy.
In many cases (with a little bit of work), these conflicts work themselves out and the relationship thrives as both partners find a balance with each other and they begin to enjoy the many perks of a live-in relationship. However, there are some couples that may be far better partners than they are roommates.
Living apart together may be the right solution if you and your partner are unable to meet each other in the middle on issues like:
• Do either of you have dietary restrictions or habits that cause the other partner considerable inconvenience?
• Do you have conflicting ideas about personal space?
• Are there any health, financial considerations, or other responsibilities that might be better managed individually rather than jointly?
If any of these considerations appear problematic rather than exciting in the context of your relationship, you may want to consider a living-apart-together relationship as opposed to a traditional cohabitation or marriage. A 2017 study published in the European Journal of Pop.ulation found that relationships with older partners were more likely to thrive as living-apart-together relationships. This is likely because older individuals (when compared to younger individuals) emphasize strict boundaries when it comes to personal space and finances.
The study also found that women, who are traditionally more likely to play the “caregiver” role, preferred the autonomy that a living-apart-together arrangement can provide. While separation marriages do make the lives of women (who may otherwise have had the full responsibility of keeping the home in order) easier, traditional gender roles do tend to creep into these arrangements as well, with men saying they receive more support from their long-distance wives than the other way around.
Whatever arrangement you choose to have with your partner, ensure that your goals are aligned and that both of you have clear expectations of what this new lifestyle will involve.
@forbes.com/sites/
traversmark/2023/06/13/
2-reasons-why
-living-apart-together
-marriages-are-on-the-rise
-according-to-a-psychologist/
•
» Living Apart Together:
Advantages | Disadvantages
@stylecraze.com/articles
/living-apart-together/
___________________________
___________________________
___________________________
Your Brain on Porn
» Men tend to look for harder and more explicit or deviant images to feel that initial excitement. Research also shows that porn users exhibit more dominating and harassing behavior toward women, have less compassion for rape victims, and have more violent attitudes toward women, even leading to actual violence against women [2].
Common physical problems that porn users experience with real-life partners are trouble getting and maintaining an erection, needing pornographic images to ejaculate, and difficulty even having an orgasm [3].
Porn can change sexual tastes and preferences toward things that are more deviant, dangerous, or illicit than what used to be arousing [5].
Spending a lot of time using porn can be isolating as the user turns more and more to the porn and away from actual people.
Porn teaches that women are sexual objects. Women are portrayed as a collection of orifices, ready at any time for anything sexual the man may want, and with no human or sexual needs of her own. She is neither given nor worthy of basic human dignity and respect; rather, she is objectified and used for men’s gratification.
@educateempowerkids.org/
8-harmful-effects-of-
pornography-on-individuals/
________________
12 common Distancing or Deactivating Techniques Love Avoidants use to evade intimacy in Relationships
» Initially, a Love Avoidant will seem very eager to connect with their partner – triggering an illusion that they finally found “one-of-a-kind.”
But once hooked, and the relationship unfolds and progresses… the Love Avoidant flip-flops, seemingly changing into an entirely different person. Instead of displaying a desire to connect, he/she emotionally disengage, becoming cold, unavailable, and unreliable.
In a short time, the message seems to be, “I want you, but go away.” -- leaving the partner feeling baffled, and asking themselves, “What the hell happened?”
The Love Avoidant partner may send just enough mixed messages to keep the fantasy alive— just enough to give you some hint of what “might be” possible, or “could be” possible, or “would be” possible.
Yet the REALITY is: What is possible, will NEVER actually be. Any sporadic “crumbs” of connection you get, is as much as you will ever get with an Avoidant.
1. Avoiding physical closeness— avoiding sex, or severely reducing sexual contact; eluding physical affection; avoiding proximity/closeness: (e.g., hugging, kissing, holding hands, sitting close; avoids sharing the same bed; walks ahead or behind, etc.); also may retreat when affection is offered.
2. Refusal to make commitment — makes assorted statements to shun commitment to a relationship, “I’m not ready for commitment,” “I’m no good at relationships,” or “I never have good relationships”, all the while engaging in a monogamous relationship, sometimes for years; (relationship looks /appears like a committed relationship).
3. Avoids verbalizing “I love you” — avoids saying “I love you”, while simultaneously asserting feelings towards the other; makes excuses as to why he/she can’t or won’t say, ”I love you"; may say something like, “You know how I feel, why should I have to say it."
4. Sabotages when things are going well— when a relationship seems to be going well, he/she sabotages or disrupts it in some way (e.g., starts arguments; suddenly acts angry or resentful; becomes passive-aggressive; doesn't keep agreements; doesn't call back; becomes overly demanding, controlling, arrogant; becomes hostile, defensive, or reactive for no apparent reason; creates unnecessary drama, etc.)
5. Cheats or has affair/’s— establishes a sexual, romantic, or emotional relationship with another person; creates a relationship with people who are unavailable (e.g., married or already in a committed romantic relationship).
6. Refuses to resolve conflicts; communicate— refuses to discuss relational problems or resolve, negotiate conflicts; rebuffs sharing his/her internal or external stressors; withhold feelings, thoughts, wants or needs.
7. Criticizes or devalues— partner becomes the “enemy”; focuses on partners flaws or imperfections; makes belittling observations (e.g., comments on way partner talks, dresses, eats, looks, or (fill in the blank); finds fault/blames partner for any current or ongoing issues); displays a negative attitude of resentment, revulsion, or dislike; disparaging comments on traits he/she found to be positive in recent past; devalues, despite partners genuine effort of being open, loving, honest, caring, supportive, etc.
8. Pines for past relationship (ex-girlfriend/boyfriend)— talks or thinks about a past relationship partner with a sense of craving, nostalgia, yearning, or longing for “the long lost love”; may make statements about great qualities of an ex-flame, all the while ignoring/minimizing ex’s imperfections that, in reality, what avoidant focused on in past relationship; convinces self that he/she was “the best partner I ever had”; may also dream of “the one perfect partner” who is “out there somewhere”.
* This defense may seem absurd (it is). Yet, in the Avoidants mind, this defense justifies that “I’m okay and not the problem, my partner (current) is the problem” … to them, a perfect rationale to keep a current partner at arm’s length and make him/her seem unimportant by comparison. It also sends a message that the avoidant partner “actually craves or is capable of intimacy." Don’t buy it!– dreaming of an ideal partner or ruminating about a past relationship doesn’t mean the avoidant is capable of real intimacy; the truth is in fact, they drive it away; and would do so in any romantic relationship they get in.
9. Flirting with others— frequently leads on, flirts, teases, or plays with other/'s seemingly potential partners or “flings” (with little or no consideration of current partners feelings) - a tactic to send a conscious or unconscious message that “I’m always on the lookout for another, you’re not that important to me”-- no doubt, this is an emotionally abusive and callous act to make a partner feel insecure, anxious, and self-doubting.
10. Emotionally “checks out” of relationship— spends lot s of time away from partner; displays disinterest about partner’s daily life, concerns, thoughts, views or feelings; rarely initiates conversations and/or cuts them short; indifferent, aloof, and unconcerned attitudes; ignores or minimizes sincere caring and loving acts/behaviors by partner; exhibits a posture such as, “you’re not that important to me”, “I have more important things to do with my time”, or “Don’t bother me."
11. Keeps Secrets — withholds important information from partner (e.g., won’t tell how money is spent; doesn’t share what he/she is doing with their time , or persons, they spent time with when away; conceals important feelings, thoughts, or views); shares information in ways which leaves things unclear, vague, or ambiguous; may keep secrets from close family members, friends, etc. about personal or relational matters. This defense is to maintain an entrenched desire to be independent and self-reliant (all Avoidants have) * Healthy/secure relationships involve inter-dependency: a balance of independence and dependence. One extreme or the other blocks authentic interaction and intimacy, and leads to painful/unhappy relationships.
12. Focus is outside/away from relationship— creates external distractions; diverts essential time and energy away from relationship (e.g., being excessively preoccupied in work, hobbies, children, or other relationships); outside focus can be some addiction or compulsive behavior (e,g., porn, sex, drugs, alcohol, gambling, gaming, etc.) -- All a sure way to disengage and avoid giving a relationship time and nourishment; guaranteeing the obstruction of intimacy.
@loveaddictionhelp.com/
12-distancing-strategies
-the-love-avoidant-uses-
to-avoid-intimacy
•
HOT and COLD:
Intermittent Reinforcement
[Why You Can't Leave
The Relationship]
@tealswan.com/
resources/articles/
intermittent-reinforcement-
why-you-cant-leave-
the-relationship-r210/
________________
Dr. Ramani: Types of Narcissists: Grandiose, Covert/Vulnerable, Malignant, Communal, Neglectful, Entitled/Self-righteous.
@family-institute.org/
behavioral-health-resources/
eight-types-narcissists
•
12 mind games that narcissists play with the people that they abuse [to gain an advantage over them] are gaslighting, projection, intimacy avoidance, emotional withholding, baiting, ghosting, f.uture faking, mirroring, triangulation, hoovering, love bombing, and intermittent reinforcement.
@unfilteredd.net/
12-mind-games-
that-narcissists-play/
•
Identify Covert Narcissism
In Relationships
» A covert narcissist can be one of the most harmful kinds of narcissist, as their behaviors are more subtle and not always immediately noticeable.
Overt narcissists are easier to identify as their behavior is more obvious and grandiose. Covert narcissists can appear to be the opposite of what society views as narcissism. In general, they may appear shy or even humble; but they may also take things personally and feel mistreated, unappreciated, and misunderstood. Although they devalue themselves, they dream of greatness and wonder why people don't appreciate and understand them.
The covert narcissist usually lacks empathy for their partner and may do anything necessary to maintain power and control in the relationship. Common narcissistic traits may make them selfish and dominant, and their wants and needs will typically take precedence over their partner's. As a result, the other person may be left feeling isolated and neglected.
1. Flipping the charm switch.
The covert narcissist may turn on their charm at any given moment and turn it back off just as quickly. They might utilize their charming attributes when they want something from their partner or the people around them. They often use various manip.ulation tactics to gain power and control over an individual. While they may seem charming, it's important to remember that they probably are not unconditionally charming, as they often turn it on for their self-serving goals.
2. Blaming and shaming.
Shaming their partner is a common tactic for the covert narcissist because of their frequent need to maintain their control in the relationship. In contrast to the overt narcissist, the covert narcissist utilizes an elusive approach to pinpoint why the fault lies with the partner while the covert narcissist is not to blame. At the end of a discussion or argument, the partner may feel like they were at fault. On the rare occasion that the narcissist does concede and apologize, they may only be standing down because they’ve gotten what they wanted.
3. Gaslighting.
Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse where the abuser manip.ulates situations to trick an individual into distrusting their memory and perceptions. Numerous gaslighting techniques can make it more difficult to identify, which is a prime tactic for the covert narcissist. Some of these techniques are:
• Withholding – Feigning a lack of understanding during a conversation, refusing to listen to their partner.
• Countering – Calling into question their partner’s memory of a situation despite them remembering things correctly.
• Blocking or Diverting – Changing the subject from the discussion at hand or questioning their partner’s thoughts, thereby controlling the conversation.
• Trivializing – Causing their partner to believe their thoughts or needs aren't important.
• Denial – Pretending to forget things that have occurred, including promises that have been made that are important to the partner.
4. Distancing themselves emotionally.
You might be unable to feel close to a cover narcissist no matter what you do because of their lack of emotional intelligence. They might exhibit passive-aggressive behavior to further maintain their sense of authority, making you feel frustrated, confused, or alone. Remember a narcissist, including a covert narcissist, is usually incapable of building and nurturing emotional bonds with others because their emotional energy and focus is typically on themselves.
5. They have trouble complimenting you.
Covert narcissists have a difficult time getting emotionally close in a relationship. It may also be hard for them to give compliments to someone else. They are usually either consciously or unconsciously focused on maintaining the authoritative position in a relationship. They may find it difficult to compliment you, and it may even feel counterproductive for them to do so.
6. A one-sided relationship.
A relationship with a covert narcissist will typically be one sided. You may usually give them more attention than they give you. In fact, they may have no desire to shine the spotlight on you (unless they want something) because they will usually make things about them, not you.
7. Passive self-importance.
The more overt, extroverted narcissist may appear obvious in their inflated sense of self when interacting with others; however, the covert narcissist is less obvious and usually more vulnerable. They may give back-handed compliments and use other passive-aggressive measures like minimizing their accomplishments or talents so that people will, in response, reassure them of how truly talented and amazing they are. In doing so, you may end up spending more time and energy focusing on lifting them while neglecting your own needs.
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________________
«Why Does He Do That?
Inside the Minds of Angry
and Controlling Men»
— Lundy Bancroft.
A guide to how abusive men think, explaining the motivation and logic behind domestic abuse so that victims can better defend themselves against it. Bancroft draws on his years of experience as a counselor working with abusive men to shed light on how they deliberately confuse, manip.ulate, and intimidate their victims to get what they want. Ultimately, Bancroft hopes that readers will use his book to better assert their own humanity and independence, either leaving the relationship or demanding that their partner take responsibility for and change his abusive behavior.
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53 signs of emotional
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